Stardew Valley is a farm simulator with a large cast of beloved characters to befriend, marry, and learn about. There’s Gus, the local tavern-keeper, or Clint, the blacksmith who desperately needs a wingman. Among the best bachelors available to marry in the game is Sebastian, an anti-social young adult who is hard to get to know.
This might not sound like the perfect groom, but he’s a sweetheart on the inside. Unfortunately, this also means that he’s easy to make fun of. Among fans, Sebastian has taken on all the stereotypical characteristics of a moody, goth teenager — and all the mocking that that entails.
10 Frogs = Love
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Sebastian’s 14 Heart Event as the player’s spouse involves him finding an injured frog in the bushes near the mountains. He takes the little guy home to the farmhouse to nurse it back to health. After the next part of the event, his spouse room even changes to include a little terrarium, with frogs hopping around inside it! Unfortunately, frogs aren’t an item that players can gift to the NPCs, or else increasing his friendship level would be a piece of cake in the early game!
9 Goth Doesn’t See Gender
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Sebastian is Robin’s son and Demetrius’ stepson. Both of them are quite cheerful and happy people, content to live in Stardew Valley and work hard to make their hobbies into their careers. Sebastian, on the other hand, has a depressing air about him.
It seems totally plausible for Robin to plan lovely events for her son, like a gender reveal party, birthdays, Halloweens, and more! We’re not sure at what age he went downhill, but if she had visited the fortune teller a little earlier, she might have at least been warned.
8 Some “Thank Yous” Would Be Nice
When the player marries a bachelor or bachelorette, their new spouse comes to live with them on the farm. A special ‘spouse room’ is added where the NPC can work on their various hobbies, and they’ll place something outside to interact with too. Marrying Sebastian is no different! While some spouses will cook for the player, plant a garden full of herbs, or make coffee in the morning, Sebastian shares creepy rewards (like bat wings and void essences) he found while traversing the mines. At least he’s happy.
7 When Your Sister Is A Genius
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While Sebastian is dark and emo enough to make this unwarranted superstition work on its own, it’s doubly hilarious because of Maru. She’s his genius half-sister who gets her love for tinkering and inventing from her scientist dad, Demetrius.
Lots of children steal their siblings’ journals to look through - this violation of privacy is a simple misunderstanding of social norms since they’re often too young to realize it’s wrong. One might think that a computer with passwords would keep you safe, but that might not be the case with Maru for a sister.
6 Loss (?)
The ‘Loss’ meme has a long history that would be impossible to adequately describe here. Suffice it to say that the slightly hidden nature of the meme adds to the amusement when the viewer reaches the end. In this case, Sebastian visits Abigail in the hospital. Harvey is Pelican Town’s doctor, and Maru is present because she works as a nurse in his clinic. Perhaps most amusing is the IV drip full of rocks that Abigail is tied to — the joke that Abigail likes to eat rocks is a running theme among the fandom.
5 We Can’t Believe They’re Friends
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Just like these characters from Parks and Recreation, Sebastian and Sam are unlikely friends. Sam is another young bachelor from the game who lives with his mother and younger brother. He has a generally sunny demeanor, unlike Sebastian, and is significantly easier for the player to track down.
Sam, Sebastian, and Abigail (the shopkeeper’s daughter) are all good friends trying to start a band together. “Someone will die - of fun!” would be a good album title, at least.
4 Wisdom Comes With Age
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Shane often appears in memes alongside Sebastian since the two are both largely known for being depressed and moody. Shane is also a bachelor, but fans don’t often choose to romance or marry him since he can come off harsh in their first few interactions. Like Sebastian, he’s sweet when given the opportunity, but it might take a couple of tries to get it right. We’re just thankful that he and Sebastian don’t hang out too much because they could easily spiral into a bender.
3 She Won’t Give Up On Them
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Penny is a sweet bachelorette from Pelican Town. She lives with her mother, Pam, in a trailer home by the river and teaches the town’s children, Jaz and Vincent, at the Museum on weekdays, since there’s no school in the village. While she might be equipped to teach third-graders their times tables, it’s a much trickier job to teach these young men to do self-care. It’s hardly surprising though; Penny has dealt with her mother for years, and is easily among the sweetest people in town, so her patience levels must be astronomical.
2 You Might Have To Chase Him Down
The player can get to work earning friendship points with Sebastian as soon as the game starts, but he’s notoriously difficult to find. That’s because he lives in the mountains with his family, and unlike his mother, sister, and step-father, he seldom visits town. He’s often found lingering near the bathhouse, or by the mountain lake. Of course, new players don’t know any of that, so he’s usually one of the last people they introduce themselves to. If they decide to flirt with him, they’ll have to do some trial and error (or just look it up online).
1 Modern Family
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Sebastian was born a few years before Demetrius and Robin got together and had Maru. The player learns as they get to know him that he feels disconnected from his parents and sister. He thinks that Maru is treated better than he is, and usually avoids being around them (or anyone) at all costs. Sebastian and Demetrius have a rocky relationship, at best; in-game dialogue that reveals their behind-the-scenes arguments and tension (like how Sebastian built a ‘snow-goon’ and Demetrius made him take it down).
NEXT: 10 Hysterical Abigail Memes That Are Too Funny For Words
